Positively Glorious!

Evildoing cover blowers

A name change, millions of dollars in FBI funding, dozens of people working on Christmas, a special section of Britain’s MI6 created just for me.

Not to mention 10 whole bucks for the domain registration.

Now, after nearly a week of back-breaking work setting up my super secret website, Google has decided to blow my cover!

I mean, what good is the witness protection program with Google flunkies out there?! How can we super secret agents work our super secret magic if Google is busy showing off all of our super secrets!

Now I’m avoiding scantily clad women like the plague

Now I’m not getting any work done because I’m too busy dodging bullets, running around small towns in the south of France, carrying suitcases full of money, and avoiding scantily clad women like the plague!

Here I go, trying to create a website and spending months, maybe years, populating it with random bits of meaningless information in the hopes of one day unveiling it to a maniacally excited audience after a huge publicity event- and Google decides to spider me!

You blew everything, Google!

How Joupla got indexed, I’ll never know. I mean, it seems like it would be hard to get indexed since there are people actually selling the service of getting you listed on search engines. Seriously, do a search on Google for “search engine strategies” and you’ll see. If you happen to have a few thousand dollars hanging around that you need to dispose of quickly, you can pay some serious money to people trying to get your site on search engines.

Why people would buy this service is beyond me. All you have to do is attempt to develop your site in total secret and you’ll instantly be #1 on the indexing list. Give it a try, contact the FBI, turn in a Mafia hitman, become a super secret agent, then make a blog and see how many days you have before the bullets start flying.

Millions of people type “Joupla” into search engines every day

The problem is that now when anyone types “Joupla” into Google, they’ll find a site that’s not ready. And don’t even say it! You don’t know how many people are into the word Joupla! Hell, there’s even a Joupla Blog! Millions of people type “Joupla” into search engines everyday. You have no idea how popular the word is.

Seriously, you can even Google it!

Told you. There’s a Joupla blog- right there in Google. And if it’s in Google, you know it’s real.

Secrets don’t go over well with the Google flunkies.

Look everyone, learn from my mistake, don’t try to create your site in secret if you want it in secret. Spend the thousand bucks on search engine listing services to ensure that it’s hidden away for good. Google’s just to mischievous to let you go free. They want you dodging bullets and drinking possibly poisoned gin and tonics with topless women on an Italian beach.

I know, I had to type this blog entry in an abandoned boiler room while listening to annoyingly suspenseful music and trying not to have my keyboard echo loud enough for the blond, japanese, martial arts expert hitman to find me.