I’m so sick of hearing about your damn no-gluten diet

Generally, I’m a really easy going guy, with an amazing patience for cultural, spiritual, and personal relativity. I grew up in a multicultural family and internalized the belief that different peoples, and even different people in the same family, can live happily with different beliefs. Despite this, I’m just about fucking fed up with this whole “gluten-free” bullshit. I mean, don’t...

No Health Insurance For Me, Thanks Oregon

Being self-employed sucks sometimes. I’ve been covered under my wife’s health insurance just fine, but recently, we started wondering “what if my wife wanted to do something that didn’t offer insurance.” There’s always a bit of guilt being self-employed, because I realize that part of the reason it works is because she has benefits through here job. This means, however, that if...

I’m the guy your mother warned you about

So I’m walking down the street last night. It’s dark, and I’m walking fast because I’m meeting my fair Jessica at a restaurant and want to be there before her, because I don’t mind waiting for her, but I know she doesn’t like waiting for me. So, I’m walking faster than usual. It was a beautiful night, actually. Pretty warm. I had my favorite brown leather “not used for...

Take a Number… Wait, nevermind, you are a number

I’ve never really had a problem with waiting. I know that many people hate to wait for things– appointments, people, Christmas, whatever. That’s the reason that, as much as I can, I try to be early when I meet with people. I’m afraid that people don’t want to wait for me. At the same time, I sometimes wish people would show up late for meetings with me– even an hour late,...

Background Noise

When I was 25, it was a very good year. There were, beautiful girls wearing… nurses uniforms and… telling me to wake up… “Wake up. Wake up, John.” Groggy, I opened my eyes to a white and pink room that smelled of a combination of death and the avoidance of death. A few days later, I left the hospital to 30 days convalescence leave and barely another year as a member of the “US Military”...