Dear Mother-in-law, I Have a Job!

Dear Mother-in-law,

I have a job!

I know that you’ve been worried about my state of employment for the past few years. Well, let me correct that, I know that you’ve been worried about my state of employment for the entire time I’ve been with your daughter. The constant stream of suggestions about my lack of ability to find gainful employment has ever been a source of encouragement for me to strive to better myself.

To this day, a full decade after meeting your fair daughter and falling in love, the encouragement continues. I have faith in the knowledge that I am never far from a helpful suggestion that I “might be able to get a job” at “that airplane company I read about” or with one of the people your daughter works with. It has ever been a faith that gives me strength in the hope that my decade-long string of at least seeming unemployment may eventually cease. Some day, we will not have to suffer under the crushing weight of a single income. Some day, we will be able to live a comfortable life.

As you know, it has been so hard for us these past few years. Our financial situation has been ever spiraling into disaster under my lack of employment to the point that last year, as you remember well, I was forced to take your daughter to Paris for only a short month. It was a bitter pill– forced to give up the possibility of actually buying an appartment in Le Marais in exchange for a mere 30 day visit. It is a disappointment that haunts us to this day. The shame of that peasant’s journey is a weight on our marriage, as I’m sure you understand.

But let us not disturb the happiness of this letter with the sad regrets of earlier mistakes, for today, I have happy news! I finally have a job! A real, honest-to-goodness job! One that pays money in exchange for work performed! It’s full-time and everything! Finally, I will be able to allow your fair daughter to live in the manner to which she has grown accustomed!

The job is wonderful. I get to choose the hours that I work, and can even work at home. I’m incredibly important in the scheme of things, and I work on a variety of projects– all of which keep me learning and motivated to improve myself, and all of which make me even more valuable to the other people in my teams! That’s right, “teams,” with an “s”!

Where is this job, you ask? Well, you’d understand well whom I work for, given that your husband has the same boss as I do! Himself! Just like your husband, who works for himself, and has a company which he manages quite successfully, I too, have a company which, by all accounts, I manage successfully. Just like your husband, whom people pay a comfortable fee for performing services that they cannot perform themselves, I too have people pay me for performing services that they can’t perform themselves.

You’re very smart and understanding, so I know that you will see the similarities. You realize, of course, that it doesn’t matter that he is a dentist and that I am a software developer. We are both successful, self-employed people (actually, you’ll be proud to know that both your husband and your son-in-law are the dominant force behind our nation’s economy!!). We both own our companies, both make plenty of money, are both successful, and both well respected in our fields!

I’m proud to be so like your husband. As a business owner, he is a great deal to look up to, and I truly enjoy thinking that your daughter and I are carrying the torch of the self-employed business owner into the next generation as we prepare our home for your coming grandchildren.

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write to you. It’s taken much longer than I thought. I’ve had this job now for, what? almost 5 years! Wow, time really flies when you’re managing a business!! I know that over the last 5 years, you’ve maintained your stream of encouragement that eventually I would find a real job, and your suggestions as to where I could find said job have, as I’ve indicated, been a source of hope for me in my struggle to pay for my share of our ramshackle home.

But now I can tell you officially! I. Have. A. Job!

No longer do you have to worry that we need sacrifice ourselves by meager month-long trips to Paris! We should easily be able to afford our apartment there (Or, at least we will soon! How long was it after your husband started his business until you bought your first Paris apartment? I’m so eager for that eventuality!)

Most exciting of all, you no longer have to mention my lack of employment on your wonderfully regular phone calls with your daughter! You no longer have to worry about making helpful suggestions about where, maybe, I might be able to work, or who, maybe, might want to hire me!

In fact– and I hesitate to suggest this as I would not want to seem less than grateful– as encouraging as your suggestions and ideas regarding my lack of employment have been in the past, I’m sure you can understand how continued suggestions might seem somewhat sour. Given that you know now that I make plenty of money and am happy in what I do, continued suggestions about my finding “real” employment might seem to me and your daughter as an insinuation that you don’t respect my choice of employment as valid– an insinuation that I’m sure you couldn’t possibly mean, given that your husband has made the same choice! It would be patently absurd!

No, that wouldn’t do. We wouldn’t want to assume that you still think of me as an unemployed layabout (especially when my income is so much more than your daughter’s). Such unfortunate misunderstandings can lead to resentment, so perhaps it would be best if you refrain from your helpful suggestions for a time, at least until I am again fully unemployed (A state that, luckily, I have not actually seen since well before our happy acquaintance!).

I know that you will be excited to hear this news about my job, and know that your encouragement about seeking employment over these past years has been the source of my strength in finding gainful work. Thank you so much, and know that I am more than a little saddened to find that I may never have to hear that you have spoken another suggestion about who might, if I were lucky, perhaps, deign to hire someone such as me.

Sincerely,
Your son in law