Embrace your inner bigot

Aug 26, 2010 Posted by john on Aug 26, 2010 in Divinity & Humanity, Easy Listening | Comments Off

I recently wrote a post about the upheaval regarding the Muslim Cultural Center in New York. Despite the fact that the post was long and even, at times, inflammatory, it illustrated a point.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get around to making the point that I wanted to make.

I’m a writer, and in the world of the modern web, my long, essay-like style is sometimes inappropriate. When I sat down to write that post, the purpose was to illustrate a specific point about prejudice. I wanted to use the issue of the Muslim Cultural Center as an aid in illustrating that point. However, because I write in a lengthy style, it became, well, the point.

I still think that post is valid, but now I want to take the time to use that to return to my original point, which is a somewhat more subtle argument than saying “people who denounce the Muslim center are bigots.” This point is quite different than that. The point I really want to make is this:

You are a bigot.

Yes, you.

Prejudice is maybe not good, but it’s natural

Here’s the basic fact. We are humans, and whether you want to believe that we we are God’s Angels Version 2.0, spawn from a cow licking an ice cube, or actually a monkey’s uncle (or… nephew, rather), it all amounts to the same thing:

Human minds like their stupid little boxes.

Are you a human? Yes?

Then you have stupid little boxes…

and you will put other humans inside those stupid little boxes…

whether you like it or not.

Yes, you.

We need to categorize the world, we need to think in packages of information. It’s one reason that we still have this stupid concept of “race” even though race doesn’t actually exist.¹ We need to quickly be able to say “Ahh! Tiger! It’s gonna eat me!” and “Ahh, fruit tree, I’m hungry.”

We need to have ways to not say things like “Ahh! Fruit tree! It’s gonna eat me!”

So we lump all the fruit trees into “not gonna eat me” boxes, and we lump all the tigers into “probably gonna eat me” boxes.

This is A Good Thing™.

It helps us. We’ve survived and adapted as people partially because of this ability. The problem is that we sometimes see things like “poisonous fruit tree” or “small, tiger looking thing that really just wants to sit on my lap.” When we see these things, we have to adjust our boxes. Sometimes we adjust them, and sometimes we just say “Okay, not eating fruit anymore- it’s poison.”

Basically, sometimes, we leave things in boxes even when we shouldn’t– usually because we’re too afraid to take them out.

The boxes still exist, even if you lie about them

Here’s the fact. You are going to put everything into boxes. Full stop.

Let me say that again:

You are going to put everything into a box.

At least one box. It’s just a fact of being a human. You should be okay with that. You need to accept that. Because here’s another fact:

If you’re not okay with something– if you don’t accept that something is should exist– then you’re going to pretend that it doesn’t exist.

That is the problem.

The problem is saying things like “Boxes aren’t good, so I don’t use them,” or “other people have all these boxes, but they don’t need them.”

The problem is that it’s bullshit.

Here’s what you should be saying: “I have all these boxes, so I should probably be aware of them.”

I am a mixed bigot

It’s a subtle argument that I wanted to make. The argument is this: If we simply admit to the fact that yes, we are prejudiced, then maybe we can get somewhere.

I’m a mixed person. I come from what amounts to three different ethnic backgrounds. Because of this, I’ve heard white friends tell me, basically, that I’m lucky that I could never be prejudiced. Nice thing to say, the problem is that it’s wrong.

The older I get, the more I realize the possibility that I’m probably more prejudiced, not less. I’m in the lucky position that I can be prejudiced even about an ethnicity that I am! I’ve got prejudices about how Black folk act… and I’m Black! I’ve got all kinds of stupid ways to generalize white people… and I’m freakin’ white!

Mixed people have just as many, if not more, prejudices as “full-blooded” people.² I think the key to mixed people and prejudices is that we know we have them. I know I have prejudices, I have to think about them all the time. I also have to see the prejudices of others all the time.

I know prejudice exists, I know that I carry prejudices.

I’m just forced to manage my prejudices better.

Manage your prejudices, don’t pretend

Look, you have prejudices. You are a prejudiced person.

Yes, you.

Stop being some stupid, brainless, new age, everyone is the same, I’m colorblind hippie and admit it for pete’s sake. You take groups of people and put them into sweeping boxes that would do really well on the stage of Over-generalization Theater.

The great people in the world who seem like they don’t have prejudice are just the ones who manage their prejudices better. They are the ones who force themselves to think about things. They are the ones who make a conscious effort to question whether something they think is because of those prejudices that they know are present. They are the ones that know that treating all people equally is a hell of a lot harder than it looks, because they know that it mostly involves conquering your own fears.

They know they have prejudices, so they question themselves constantly about whether a thought might be just based on fear, or misunderstanding– a prejudice– and, being a prejudice, they try to remove it.

And they fail.

There’s a key point: They fail.

No-one removes all of their prejudices. No-one. But by acknowledging that they are there, by accepting the fact, and by trying to remove them, we can accept that failure. We can say something like “I know I have these prejudices, and I know I’m never going to get rid of them all, because I’m a human– but I can at least be aware of them… and I can try.”

We can even say something like “This is a prejudice that I can’t get over- I don’t know why, but that’s the truth.”

If we pretend that we don’t have prejudice, then we can’t accept failure. If we pretend they don’t exist then we have to find reasons– un-prejudiced reasons– for all of the prejudiced actions. We have to say things like “They should understand our pain,” or “They shouldn’t want that because they know it’s wrong.” If we pretend that we don’t have prejudices, we have to paint over all of our bigoted thoughts- but all we have to paint with is bullshit.

Not a really good paint.

We need to acknowledge that we have prejudices- we have to accept that it’s not only a possibility, but a reality. Then, accepting that, we can allow ourselves to question ourselves.

Embrace your inner bigot

Here’s the point. Here’s the subtle argument that I’ve spent two blog posts trying to illustrate:

Open bigotry is better than lies.

At least open bigotry is something that can be addressed directly.

You can never go face to face with a lie– especially when you’re lying to yourself.

And that’s the major problem, I think. We lie to ourselves about it– because we’re afraid that we are prejudiced. For so long, any kind of prejudice was immediately and irreversibly equated with the Aryan Nation or Nazi Hitler or the Black Panther movement- whatever. Much of the problem, I think, is caused by the fact that prejudice is such a negative thing in this country.

The very idea of prejudice is so hated and feared that everyone wants to pretend they don’t have any prejudices. I can’t tell you how many times I will talk to someone who justifies inherently racist comments by ensuring me that they are not prejudice but that <insert whatever bullshit, non-prejudiced reason here>.

They end up lying to me– or trying to– and worse, they end up lying to themselves.

I’d love it if my mother in law would just admit to being prejudice instead of saying things like “That Black family has every right to buy the house next door, but I just don’t think they’d be happy in this neighborhood.”

Faceless, lying bullshit.

Imagine her just admitting it. “I’m unsure and a little afraid because I don’t know how to relate to Black people, I hope I can get past that prejudice of mine.”

Everyone needs to embrace their inner bigot.

Yes, you.

Open it up to the world– at least admit it to yourself. Accept your prejudices and acknowledge them- don’t hide behind bullshit like some fucking coward.

You don’t want Muslims to build a community center in New York? Just admit that you don’t want Muslims there because– what? I don’t actually know.

It’s not until you admit that you have prejudice that you can a face it. You don’t have to change your mind, but at least be honest with yourself.

Until we accept prejudice and stop trying to remove it from the conversation, we won’t have any dialog.

Until we all acknowledge the fact that every one of us has prejudices, we’re just going to be lying to ourselves and to each other.

So embrace your inner bigot. Love your inner bigot. Look your inner bigot in the eye and say “I accept you.”

And then strangle the fucker with a piece of mental piano wire, cover his body with lime, and dump him in a goddamn storm sewer.

Because we don’t need any more of that shit than we already have.

here’s an interesting thought, there’s much more genetic variability within the people of central Africa than there is within all the other people of the world. Any given African will likely have more genetically in common with a European or an Asian than with another African. Race my ass. [↩]
a dubious term at best- who’s full blooded anything anymore? British hemophiliacs who are descended from The King? [↩]

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