Positively Glorious!

Well, I fell sick and stayed away from my computer yesterday, meaning that my plan to write one blog post every day in January was botched on the first day! Ouch. I’d originally planned to do a short retrospective of 2008, but the more I thought about it, the sicker I felt. I mean, a retrospective? <gag>

We had our annual New Year’s party at our friends Tom and Paula’s house. Like every year, it was a stellar party. A few things happened that exemplify why I love my Hood River friends, so I’m going to write about why my Hood River friends rock instead of bore you to tears with my “what I did in 2008″ drivel.

Metrosexual John

First, I have to say that I’m pretty proud of myself.

Jess and I wanted to get really gussied up, and I wanted to wear my nice $200 leather soled shoes. That meant we couldn’t walk through the ice and snow- so we decided to drive. What’s more, I decided to stay sober and drink water so that I could protect my shoes and drive home.

Yes, I actually forbore drinking so that I could wear awesome shoes. Do you have any idea what this means?

To say that Tom and Paula are a bad influence¹ is putting it somewhat lightly. It would be akin to saying something like “The Pacific Ocean is a fairly sizable body of water.” So when I decided to stay sober that night, I was actually taking the life of my shoes into my own hands.

I’m proud of myself. Not for actually accomplishing sobriety in the house of Tom and Paula,² but for actually being superman stylish enough to choose the cool shoes over the wine.

The Pi Plate

So, at our New Year’s party, our friends Harry and Karyn showed up and said “We bought you a Christmas present, John. We didn’t get anything for anyone else, but we had to get you this.”

No, not the tiara. The plate, although, the tiara looks fabulous, doesn’t it? I wore it all night. It was red and sparkly and had this silvery-gold color in it.

Look at my shirt: Red and sparkly. Look at my tie: Silvery-gold color. Anne (pictured) pulled out hats and tiara’s and started handing them around and I immediately grabbed for the tiara. Awesome shoes… a matching tiara… guys, I was, like, the hottest chic in the room!

Uh, ahem… Anyway…

Back to the point. Harry and Karyn show up with a present for me. That’s not what got me. What got me was that they were looking through a catalog, saw a totally dorky mathematical humor item, and immediately thought: “Oh, John!” and then bought it.

This is a ceramic plate with a huge pi symbol, and pi calculated to like the 200th digit going around the rim! How completely amazingly ridiculously cool are my friends?

Yeah, that’s what I said too. They are totally completely amazingly ridulously cool. And I don’t consider that word inflation at all, just so you know.

Irish John

So, I made my New Year’s resolution on Twitter, and decided to make it at the party too. I decided with some trepidation because I figured it would start a fight. Paula, our host, is Irish. Really very Irish.

But I said it anyway. Sitting at the table I spoke in my best “Okay, I really seriously mean this, so don’t make fun of me”-voice, and said:

“I resolve to be more Irish.”

Now, what I was expecting were replies revolving around “You can’t resolve to be more Irish, stupid.” And I’d have deserved them. Seriously, if someone came to me and said “I resolve to be more Black.” I’d look at them, roll my eyes, suck my teeth, and do that little hand-flip thing that I learned at the age of 6 in the projects- the one that Jessie can never quite figure out.

Then I’d snap my neck and yell “You did not just say that!”

Seriously, I would. I’m not at all joking here.

But my friends are different, and the Irish are much more inclusive than me, apparently. Instead of insults, what I heard were replies revolving around “That’s the greatest resolution, ever!” Then, following Paula’s shout of “I’ll drink to that!” we all toasted to “being more Irish.”

Wow. Suddenly I went from making a comical- if somewhat off-color- joke to feeling like I have something very important to live up to.

Suzanne’s right: “Yay for the Irish!”

Dancing John

The last awesome thing that happened was a complement from Paula that is just too comical to ever forget. Tom and Paula played disco at the party, and we spent a lot of time dancing. I was like 7 at the height of Disco, so you just imagine how many hours I spent in front of a mirror trying to be the king of the dance floor.

Anyway, at one point, Paula starts a conversation that basically includes the following:

“I’ve often been amazed at your breadth of skills and talents, but that is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen … That’s something that can never be taken away- you spent how many hours as a child practicing that. You could loose your house and your wife, all your money, but you’ll always have that … Seriously, everything else you do is great, but I alway think ‘I know someone else that can do that.’ John, I don’t know anyone else that can do the moonwalk!”

Mostly I hide my childhood dream of becoming Michael Jackson, both because it faded shortly after “Thriller” and because, well, Jesus that’s embarrasing.

I just got the longest and most earnest complement of my life from someone impressed that I know how to Moonwalk.

There’s a large part of me that is concerned as to whether being so complimented on my Moonwalk is a complement to my ability, or an insult to the entire rest of my life.

But then I remember that the complement was given to me by an Irish woman- and then I know that she really meant it.

Yay for the Irish!

And Yay for my awesome friends!

1. And by “bad” I really mean “good” [↩]
2. Seriously, people, you have to understand what kind of a challenge that is! [↩]