When Is An Abyss Just An Abyss?

So, I’m going to try to do something that I may or may not succeed at: I’m going to tap my shift key repeatedly.

Okay, I won’t try that, but I am going to try something else, I’m going to try to pull of pretending to be as good as one of my blogging heros: Cami Kaos.

What am I going to do? Dress like Sean Young in Blade Runner?

No, I’m going to try to write a short post, that reaches no conclusion, never even comes close to approaching a suggestion that a resolution is possible, and yet that shows a heartbreakingly intimate view of my humanity.

Well, I’m going to try, at least.

I can probably pull off the “humanity” part- even if it won’t be nearly as intimate or heartbreaking as Cami’s. I can probably even pull of the “no conclusion” part- I’ve done that before… I’ve practiced.

But “short?” Who the hell are we kidding?

Well, I can try.

So here goes:

When is an abyss just an abyss? I mean, you’re standing there staring at this big gaping hole, and realizing that other people have repeatedly jumped into big gaping holes and then, apparently, floated out of them and sold companies as a result. But you also know that other people have jumped into big gaping holes and, well, they’ve ended up in a bloody heap at the bottom of a big gaping whole with their head stuck in a crevice halfway up.

Sometimes, risk is just risk. But you can’t know that until your head is stuck in a crevice and your body is spinning like a whirligig until your intestines pop out like a piñata.

The worst thing about this: It’s not even MY risk! I mean, I have this company that I’m trying (in my dwindled #afterhours) to create, but this isn’t even that.

This is someone else’s company. An East Coast company, that might… might… be interested in doing something really cool. They might be interested in working with Oregon State to improve water quality and urban planning. They might. But they might not. They might not because Oregon might actually create new regulations about water quality, but they might not. They might not because these regulations will be really hard for cities to work with.

But they will make the world a better place.

So, there might be these regulations that are hard for cities to comply with. And if they do, there might be a company who can help the cities, and therefore help water quality.

Here’s my short background: I have 2 bachelors degrees and 2 masters degrees, all centered around, basically, improving water quality. I spent 4 graduate years at OSU doing pretty damn close to exactly what this company needs to succeed in this endeavor.

So, there’s the possibility that new regulations will be in place soon, in Oregon, Washington and eventually, the rest of the world.¹ We won’t know if that possibility is an actuality until at least a year from now, when the regulations hit the legislature.

If they hit the legislature.

So, here’s the abyss: Maybe I should just call them up and say “Look, If you don’t at least try this, you’re stupid- so I’ll do it for you for free.”

Doing that, I wouldn’t have pay, and my pay is our mortgage. I’d be taking all the risk. And my regular readers will remember that we are not exactly in a stable financial situation. I can’t take that risk right now. Well, I can, but there’s the near certainty that I’ll be living in a tent 3 months hence.

If I were paid in two months, I could do it. But I’d absolutely have to be paid in two months.

So, is this an abyss, or is it an abyss? I mean, would I be a company hero, or would I be homeless because the company did nothing more than say “Well, that was fun. Thank you for playing.”

There’s the humanity part: I’m way too afraid to jump. Maybe I’ll contact my thesis advisor to talk about options- he’d be a good one to be involved, maybe I’ll contact my friends at DEQ who are actually writing the new law. I can talk to a bunch of people. But I can’t do it all for free. And I can’t do it effectively while working at my current job.

So, do I call the owner of the company and say “Look sparky, stop thinking about this thing and just do it, because it’ll be better for everyone- not the least important being you!”

Hrm.. too snotty.

“Look, someone is going to make a buttload of money doing this, and look really good at the same time!”

Hrm… too salesy

“Hey, I’ve already talked with people in your company about this, and those two new people and I all think it’s a good idea.”

Do I wait, and assume that those two new people will actually get the point across.

And what point are they getting across? That something might materialize a year or two from now.

There. No resolution. I know what you’re thinking: Wow, John! What a short post! Good Job!”

Maybe not. In any case, you’ve been listening to “One more meaningless pronouncement from the MettaSpace that will likely not materialize into anything.”

Tune in next time when we hear John say:

“Okay, either I buy a ticket to the company headquarters or I become a shepherd, sell the house and live alone in a tent.”

1. Well, at least the rest of the country… but we’ll show those damn no-water-quality-law-having terrorists who’s boss! [↩]

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