CyborgCamp PDX… It’ll probably suck anyway, right?

CyborgCamp PDX? No thanks.

I mean, considering that I’m an anthropologist, a programmer and a geek, you’d think that I would want to go to something that bills itself as “An unconference on the future of humans and technology.” You’d think that this is the kind of thing that would be right up my alley. You’d think that I would ignore whatever social obligations I’d have in order to attend.

Not me.

Why? Because it’ll probably suck anyway.

There’s No Lineup

I mean, it’s not as if it’s going to have really great speakers who actually know anything about the interface of humans and technology, right? Maybe if they had someone talking about something interesting like how technology affects our lingusit culture. Or personally challenging topics like how electronics and technology can be permanently attached to a human to keep them alive. Hell, even if they had some talk about how technology can be used to help the poor- I might think about it.

Naw, they’re probably just going to play World of Warcraft or Halo and eat pizza.

There’s No Attendance

It’s not like anybody from Portland is going to go anyway. All the really cool Portland tech people will probably be doing other things like walking at Waterfront park or driving out to the coast or even up to the mountain because there’s plenty of snow for skiing by now.

Besides, what I have planned was set up first- and it’ll be loads more fun, anyway! I won’t have to deal with the same old boring Portland Tech scene that I’m so burnt out on. I’ll get to meet lots of people that I’ve never interacted with before- and never will again! How many times to I get that kind of opportunity?

There’s No Sponsorship

If the organizers could even get real sponsorship for the dang thing, I might consider going, but who the hell has ever heard of Silicon Florist? I mean geez, like, really! Um, flowers aren’t even made out of silicon! And how many people in Bangalore or Frankfurt know what the hell an Iterasi is? I’ll tell you how many: None.

There’s Not Even a Conference!

It’s not like this so-called “unconference” is even a conference. It’s an un-conference, which doesn’t even exist! It’s like an un-cola, I still don’t even know what the hell an un-cola is- and I actually think I drank one at some point!

Well, un-drank one at least.

There’s No Chance

No chance that I’m going to deal with that un-event. Nope, not me. If it was actually, like, one of the coolest ideas ever, you might be able to talk me into it. But it’s not. It’ll probably be really boring with bad food and too much jabbering by non-cool people.

I just feel sorry for all the people who have to endure it.

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